Ramblings...( sorry, this one is just kind of a journal entry or something!)

Well, it has happened... Ellie has asked when we are getting out the Christmas decorations. :) I am hoping and planning for next weekend. I do think Thanksgiving weekend is a perfect weekend to decorate for Christmas. ;0 Nate went out and dug up the Christmas music the other day, so we are getting in the spirit around here! :)

My lesson learned for the moment is cute don't cut it in below zero weather. I gave up on two pairs of cheap boots from last year and am wearing my Seriously- for-Snow boots, they keep my feet dry and they keep my up on my feet! Yes, last year I either had wet feet, once the snow soaked through, or I fell on my hiney..a few times or did one of those body convulsions to try to keep from falling, which get your adrenaline pumping like crazy! Not in a fun way! Funny to watch by those around me probably though! And no more colored gloves that match my coat or scarf, but now some heavy, lined, faux-leather gloves that keep my hands warm!! And a hat! Very little concern for messed up hair! Just protection from the weather. My hat doesn't match anything. My gloves don't match my scarf and are not cute. My scarf doesn't match, and nothing matches my coat. But I don't care! Lord, thank you for releasing me from my vanities! :)

So, Sunday I finally made it out to the garage to go though some boxes that John had strategically put in my parking spot so that I would have to tend to them to be able to park there. Did I take care of it in a timely fashion during the nice weather when I could have the garage door open and breathe the fresh air while I worked and long before the cold hit so that there would be no delay in parking in the garage as soon as the snow fell???? No. No. Of course, no. I procrastinated and had to survive a week of snow and hear forecasts of below zero weather to be encouraged to move this task to the top of my priority list. I had to bundle up and be practically dragged out there by my husband. But now it is done. And I got to park in the garage Sunday night. Whew.

The boxes, you ask? What was in the boxes? Well, I'll tell you...( The boxes that I mentioned were in my spot in the garage, in case you didn't follow that lovely transition:) The boxes had a bunch of home-school materials in them... I loved home schooling my kids... it wasn't always easy...in fact, I don't think it ever was easy, but I loved it. Not the schooling part, because 99% of the time they didn't want to 'do school'. But having them home with me and knowing, for the most part, what was going into their precious minds. And having them with me, I love that. So we haven't home-schooled here the last 3 years, and that is what we needed to do. God is so good to teach us what we need. And He is so good at loving us as He does. And now, it seems He is going to let me home-school again for a bit. We are planning to home-school the girls for the next couple of years. It is just a time for drawing them close and strengthening our bonds. I am so excited! I am making plans in my heart to do some fun things with my precious daughters and I can't wait for next year. Our home schooling in the past was just the basics, I would hear about moms doing extras and fun stuff and feel bad but I just didn't have it in me at the time. But now, I am daydreaming about our time together for the next year(s), I don't know how long it will be for, but it is going to be good. :) I plan to tell the girls closer to the end of this school year, when the time is right for them to receive it. When I was sorting the home school boxes, Ellie was out there, having fun going through stuff with me and getting excited about some of the things she saw. So I am praying for her response and timing in telling her. She is my social-butterfly, so we will have to stay on top of that, and some of the fun things I have in mind are for her. Phoebe, I think, will be excited and I don't really worry about telling her.
Maybe we will start a blog about it when we start. :)

Thank You, Lord, for how You teach us, grow us, Love us. You alone are able. Praise You. and worthy. Amen.

PHuzzbucket

Phoebe, Oh Phoebe.
Thank you, Lord, for Phoebe. How I love her and how amazing she is to me. One of my precious, Fantastic Four. Lord, you have so abundantly blessed me. 

Here are couple of Phuzzbucket stories for you. The other morning her breakfast was ready and I called out from the kitchen, PHUZZBUCKET- And she called out, Ya, Mom? I said, I love that you just answered to Phuzzbucket! 

Another morning story; John was feeling...somewhat...irritated? or...less than warm fuzzies toward the afore mentioned Fantastic Four, and I was trying to endear them to him again, I called them 'the fruit of his loins'. hehe. yah. Phoebe made the funniest wrinkled up nose face and asked, What are loins!? Laughing, laughing, laughing.

Phoebe has been having nightmares, yesterday morning she ended up in our bed and I said try to have one more good dream before its time to wake up. So later, she told me she had a dream that I was having another baby. I said, Oh good, you did have a good dream! She asked, So you want to have another baby? I answered, Sure, if God gives me one. ..

.*bunnytrail* Is it just me or does anyone else look longingly at the isles of babystuff. I even sighed when I caught a glimpse of the pregnancy tests last night at the store! How silly! But, yes, I do long... However, the next instant I enjoy my Fantastic Four being the ages they are and we run here and there in no time and leave them at home at times, while we run somewhere. I am enjoying this stage of our life. But, oh to hold and snuggle a baby again.... **Anyway~

Oh, here is another one- She has a cute winter hat that says, 'Cute, but Dangerous' on it. Yesterday morning, she was wearing and pointing to the words and 'reading' it to me. Then she asked if she had pointed to the words right, because it was on her head. I told her she had actually pointed to them backwards, and she without thinking, read it the way it would have read backwards.
'Cute. Dangerous but!' Then 'dangerous butt' sunk in and her eyes got big and she covered her mouth with her hand. And Jacob says, Now that's true about her! More laughing... :) Yes, yes, we do wonder and pray for the precious man that will be her husband, he is going to be something else. Which is the Phoebe-phrase John has used several times in the last couple of days.

Thank you, Lord, I love them more and more. And only because You loved us first. How wonderful You are. 

Oh, there is much more to tell, but I must go and ready for the day. *sigh*
Have a lovely day.
xo~

delicious love

what do you LOVE?
I love my babies' sweet faces. I love their hugs. I love it when they make me laugh. I love it when they laugh and so much when they are having fun with each other. I still love how they smell after a bath/shower. (but that isn't really a hard one, haha) I love it when all my babies are in my house with me, and even better when their Daddy is here too. I love that Nate has found that he loves and is good at piano. Thanks in big part to some generous friends who gave him free lessons his first few years. I also love that he knows who he is and has self-confidence like I never had. I love it when they are brave, let's face it when they are more brave than me, which isn't hard at all. I love these busy days of running boys to football, and band practice, and girls to birthday parties and piano lessons. I am thriving in the very schedule I thought would drown me other years. Thank You, Lord.

I love that Nate is going to get his braces on next month and finally be on his way to a straightened out smile that he isn't self-conscious of. And I love his grandparents for helping us with that. I love that Phoebe loves to practice piano and her teacher said she is taking to it very easily and will probably be a natural, like Nate. I love, love listening to Nate play piano. I love my oven after the cleaning cycle. I love making dinner, once I have figured out what I am making. I love the music up loud. I love trusting the Lord with my children and not having to worry because He loves them abundantly and perfectly. I love when I finally find the outfit that is 'me'. I love opening up the coffee shop and giving people their coffee and a smile! I love to daydream about the future and how things will be when I am old...er. :)
I love knowing my husband and I will never divorce. I love talking to my sister, mom, sister in law, and mother in law on the phone. I love when my husband talks to his brothers on the phone. I love getting together with a friend and praying and hugging and talking and laughing. I love having people over to our house. I love getting a room made over and finished off. I love drawing house plans and daydreaming about having a house just outside of town with a little land around us to play on and plant on. I love that Nate will take driver's ed this very year! I love how God has taught us and grown us and stretched us and blessed us. I love watching my kids read. I love having women come to bible study and praying for them and hoping to encourage them and scootch them just that much closer to our sweet, great God. I love listening to our baptist preacher get all worked up over the Word and our awesome God and His love for us.

I love listening to my husband and our dear friend lead us in worship with their voice and guitar. I love when my punkins measure themselves up against me, they are growing and that is good! Praise God! I love hearing them sing in church!!! I love waking up to the aroma of coffee and getting up before anyone else to have a cup with my Jesus and His Word. I love to pray for my babies. I love making my kids or my husband laugh! I love to get a workout in. I love a corny, happy ending. I love reading my friends' blogs.

And I love going to bed early! I love lavender. I love my special blanket. I love homemade soap. I love to read. And I love ...love!

Motherhood: It's not for the weak.

Don't get me wrong,

 I am not claiming to be strong. But I can tell you, my God is, praise Him. 

Motherhood has about done me in about... a gazillion times, yep, about exactly a gazillion times. Thankfully, over time my good and sovereign God has ground away more and more of me and begun to work me over into a shape more resembling the me He intended, a me that looks more like Him, praise Him!

Truthfully, I could not have gotten this far without Him, and almost didn't! In spite of me, He has been faithful to bring us along to the most wonderful we have been yet! He keeps growing us and removing uglies and healing yuckies (official mama terms) and growing loveliness and beauty in each of us. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I only ever wanted to be a mama. When my friends were talking about college and what they were gonna be when they 'grew up', I kinda would panic inside, I only wanted to get married and have me some babies! Well, thankfully God had the same plan b/c soon I was knee deep in my 'dream', only it isn't all snuggles and nuzzles, baby!!!

If not for grace and a merciful, faithful God, me, my kiddos, and my husband would have been a monumental mess by now! But we aren't! Yay! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So this morning, I got up out of bed, knelt down with my cup of coffee and thanked my God for these and prayed for them. Then, later, after a great morning and a prayer for them all from their Daddy, I kissed my oldest baby good-bye and he smiled, laughed, walked off to high school. My second born son, I reminded to be a warrior against evil and FOR good! He said, Mhm, and took his cute freckled face off to 6th grade with a bounce in his step. Oldest daughter had already spied her friends and run ahead to join them, her eyes twinkling and all lit up in a new first day of school outfit. And the youngest, holds my hand and off she and I walk to her school. She stays close, asks a few times if I am going to stay with her and walk in to her class with her. She hugs me and hugs me again, and I hug her right back, holding on tight to this moment that will not stay. Well I think this is the way it goes, the youngest tugs at my heart, not because you love your youngest any more than the others, may it never be! But the youngest... I don't know what it is, just the ending of times and things, the last first tooth lost, the last first day of kindergarten, the last... the Last. And as I dab the tears from the corners of my eyes, holding back tears and unable to speak for my heart in my throat, my only consolation, the only thing that lifts the heaviness from my chest and gives my breath back, is this; my God is with them. He goes with them, He has plans for these and loves them spectacularly more than I am able. Hallelujah. I can kiss my baby good-bye, after walking her into her 2nd grade class and leave her there, among all those people who don't love her as much I do, because I know her God loves her more. Whew! 

The things a mother's heart has to go through! And it has just begun for me. All my heart has had to do is leave my babies at school, my friends hearts have had to watch their children go through hard stuff! How do you watch your baby have their heart wounded or experience loss or rebellion! Ugh. 

He prepares me with this: 

"Be patient, therefore brethren, until the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.' James 5:7-8

Patience, until my precious produce receive their early and late rains. Strengthen my heart... this is a repeated theme, something we are to do. Strengthen our hearts. So today, when I have kissed my babies and left them and I struggle to hold it together, He reminds me to strengthen me heart, for He is with them! 

He. is. with. them. 

And my heart grows a tiny bit stronger, thank You, Lord. 

Happy Birthday, Ellie!

My gorgeous, beautiful baby girl...

Elisha Chloe-Nichole

She is a magical dream. She makes you believe in the gold at the end of the rainbow. 

She makes you wonder if unicorns are real. 

She sparkles and fairy wings.

There is a twinkle in her eye and her cute perfect little nose crinkles when she laughs, especially when its her mischievous giggle.

Butterflies and twinkles.

Pink, Purple, and Glittery.

Thank you, Lord, for this precious gift. 

10 years ago today she was born. 

I trust You with her, I know You love her even more than I do and You know the plans You have for her, plans for a future and a hope. Thank you for Your perfect love. May she know and love You with all of her heart. 

XOXO

My Photo Book Jul 10 2010

Click here to view this photo book larger

My BABY!

Dreamy, I think. I get lost in this picture...

This one stole Daddy's heart. And who could resist?!

I had no idea what my amazing God had in store for me when He knit this one together!

She is like nothing I have ever known. I adore her. And she is 8 years old! 8! Eight! How can she be eight? Where has the time gone since I had my fourth baby? Where did that little red-headed baby girl go? Who is the amazing creation of God who measures herself up against me and is almost up to my neck?! She is awesome. She loves horses and wants to live on a ranch when she grows up. She does not like dresses, or skirts, she doesn't even like a skort now and then. She is only into dress-up when the 'dressing up' is into spiderman, cowboy, ninja, etc. She wore a ski-mask yesterday into the store with me. She wants to wear her cowboy boots with everything. She has the temper to match the rumors about red-heads. She loves to snuggle at bedtime. She misses me when I am away from her. She HAS to kiss Daddy good-bye when he leaves. She misses her family. She wants to be with the boys and do what they are doing. She is trying to learn to skateboard, like Jacob. She also wants to learn piano, like Nate. 

She recently said to me, she doesn't see how her face is cute. Pierced my heart! Shocking partly because people are always commenting on how cute she is. So we are trying to root that doubt out. 

Thanking God for her on her birthday! Wondering what works and good plans God has for her. Can't wait to visit her ranch someday and ride horses with her! 

Yesterday she asked me if ranches cost more than a house. Lord, I love her.