My baby...

No, he's not my 'baby', he's my oldest, but as we were explaining to our children, a mother always sees her children as her babies. They got a chuckle out of thinking that Gran and Nana think of Daddy and I as their babies, but its true.
My heart is at the moment swelling to the point of pain with l.o.v.e. for my firstborn. Last night, as I watched this young man working on his Facebook page, I thought about how he is as tall as me and has a voice I don't always recognize... did you get that?? A voice I don't always recognize.... my throat begins to close up and things fly through my mind similar to when your life is supposed to flash before your eyes when you die... when we found out we were pregnant with him, I was beside myself with joy and excitement, a baby was all I ever wanted...his baby smiles...he was/is so funny, his sense of humor has always amazed me... how grown he is now, and time seemed to pause for a moment so I could just take him in. What a blessing he has been, all of them have. And at the same time that I LONG to go back and hold him as a baby again, I also look forward with great excitement and joy to what is in store for him. God has good plans for him, good works prepared, plans to prosper and not to harm him. He is loosening himself from his mommy, and as much as it hurts, it is good. He is growing into his own person, we are glimpsing the man he is still becoming and it is a wondrous thing. I can only do it with God as my Rock, knowing that He loves Nathan more than I do, and He is good and He is sovereign.
Walk on, Natey. Love you like crazy! xoxo